Why this Kolaviral?!

I will admit I am usually one of the very last people to ever rock a trend while it's in, watch a movie while it's still playing in the theatres and be filled in on what's hot and what's not with respect to inane celebrities and pop culture. Added to the fact that the last 4 months of 2011 were a complete blur for me (working and billing crazy hours and trying to find time to take my last CPA exam), I was completely clueless when it came to things that were "in", because I thought sleep was pretty much the coolest thing since snuggies and pyjama jeans- (excuse the informercial references, late night television is my guilty pleasure!) Apparently people don't use words like "in" anymore either, but since I'm so not "in" please insert cool hip word that floats your boat.

The only person that I think is possibly even more clueless about what is "in" would be my mother, but even she can talk about jeggings and gel manicures with crystals that all "young girls getting married are doing in Delhi these days" with as much enthusiasm as a tax accountant who found a new R&D credit. So, you can imagine my surprise when I landed in India late last December and she recognized that" kolaveri di" song on the radio and was very amused by the lyrics. As for me, I couldn't figure out what was more amusing: the fact that my mom was actually a part of pop culture history in the making or the fact that she of all people was enjoying a strange sounding song like this that I had to yet to hear!

After spending almost 2 weeks in India, I heard this song everywhere. It was blasted at the super shady bar (complete with dim lighting and no women in sight) in Coimbatore where I snuck beers with my husband and dad in the midst of my grandfather's very proper and very "bhesh" 80 th birthday, new year's eve in Chennai at the hotel bar where all the cool peeps in the city bopped their heads to it, (again I'm not sure people use the word "cool peeps" anymore either) and listening to an 8 year old's rendition of the song at a Karoke night in Pondicherry. I realized that this "soup song" had indeed spread like an epidemic and gone viral, or should I say "kolaviral"?!

Seriously, who knew that the recipe for a superhit song would be nonsensical lyrics about how women are the devil and simply enunciating those lyrics in a heavy Tamil accent? The coolest thing that this song seems to have done though is integrated a country like India with such wide cultural and language barriers and unified it by simply making everyone bond over ludicrous Tanglish.I realize that most people are still going to make fun of South Indian accents more so in the light of this song, but it's that 21 year old kid who's having the last laugh...he's probably laughing his Tanglish speaking ass all the way to the bank!

Now Auditioning for the Real Housewife of my house

It took 3 graduate degrees, a CPA license, 2 high pressure careers at big 4 firms, student loans and a lot of anxiety to realize what I really wanted to be when I grew up, drum roll please: A housewife!!

Not like I want to join the Real Housewives of Atlanta or anything, no for that I'd need to be married to a baller or a rapper, have a shady past exotic dancing, wear crazy wigs that have names (!) and be BFF's with Andy Cohen. Nah, I just want to find a way to make a good, honest (well as honest as an accountant can get) living, without having to crunch numbers in a drab cubicle with lifeless co-workers for most of my life. So if anybody(read: my husband) is looking to hire a housewife, let me highlight the fabulousness that is my house wifely resume:

1)Ability to whip up fabulous meals and mix many many many mean drinks, esp when it involves numerous trips to the frozen aisle at Trader Joe's and the ready to eat sections at Alon's. I also have a fine nose and taste for good wine, and if allowed to study to be a sommelier- can guarantee fancier dinner party invitations in the future and possible income if career as sommelier takes off in an economy where people swear by 2 buck Chuck.

2)An intense passion for organizing and rearranging closets and even people's love lives. From mastering storage in cramped spaces and allowing my OCD to kick in when organizing piles of clothing, books and knick knacks to helping my friends find love and realize what true happiness is all about- I will bring an array of storage and love solutions to the table.

3)A knack for spending money-not just my own, other people's money too-on clothes, shoes, accessories, home furnishings, and state of the art kitchen appliances. I can make you over-who said clothes don't make the man? A nice suit or a well fitted pair of jeans on a man is what make him somewhat bearable to look at when he is fixated on that losing game. I can also makeover the most run down place and give drool worthy houses a run for their money-guaranteed, if only you open your wallet out to me.

4)An empathetic ear for listening to people's problems, issues and giving out advice (wanted or not!) I guarantee spending all my "housewifely" duty time dutifully listening to the husband, my friend's, his friends and all our relative's weight problems, job problems and in law problems and find words of wisdom, courage and strength for each individual issue. Note: I have a bachelor's degree in Psychology which also means- I can charge for all this time and call it "therapy" thereby contributing to household income.

5)Ability to sleep in every day,12-13 hours a day at a minimum and spend the remainder watching trashy TV and getting my nails done. As a housewife, I have the tremendous ability to rest recoup and get my beauty sleep on a daily basis to be a refreshed and rejuvenated housewife!

So what do you think, I have all the qualities to make it as a housewife type-or as the cool kids call it a "homemaker", or should I not quit my day job just yet? I continue to remain envious of all the women who stay home and "make their homes" why did I have to be lofty and ambitious when all I really want is to be lazy? I blame this lack of career direction completely on my parents, why ohh why did my parents not paint the pretty pictures of a life of sloth and fulfilment as a career option, I'd be sooo much fatter and happier today!

A taste of the Mediterranean

I have suffered from acute blogger's block for the past 6 months, and every time I see or eat or experience something that makes me want to write, I am overcome by laziness minutes later, which explains the lack of action on this space...yet again!

I spent a few weeks in Turkey and Greece this summer, which proved to be a gastronomic delight. Hookah bars, freshly grilled corn on the cobb, spiced shwarma, baklava, apple tea, turkish delight and flaky pita were the highlights of Istanbul. A visit to a yogurt and feta cheese factory in Greece converted me into a yogurt and cheese snob and now I am scoffing and poo pooing at Greek salads in America and at Wisconsin Feta in particular-boo! The Greek isles boasted of the freshest vegetables, fabulous olives and the most potent Ouzo ever. Of course the gorgeous weather and beautiful serenity of Santorini, Mykonos and the ancient architecture of Athens didn't hurt either, neither did the fabulous shopping-especially now with the Euro at an all time low and a great exchange rate with the Turkish Lira:)

I'm determined to start posting regularly yet again, although this time around I'm not sure all my posts will be food related. I continue to be lethargic about cooking, however my take out, critiquing Sanjay's bland tofu stir fry's and restaurant review skills have shown remarkable improvement!

I'll leave you with a few foodie pictures of my trip!

At a small tea shop in Istanbul outside the Grand Bazaar, sipping on apple tea and a yogurt drink.

Taking a break at a Hookah bar in Istanbul after seeing the beautiful blue mosque. Smooth apple flavored hookah-good stuff!

After a full day of sightseeing and non stop shopping, we went to a restaurant below the Acropolis in Athens, great meal topped off with a pitcher of local red wine with no preservatives, we got 8 glasses of wine off the pitcher for under 6 bucks and it didn't come with a hangover!

Sweet and savory donuts, popular street food in Athens.

Corn on the cobb outside the Spice Bazzar, Istanbul. Delicious and sweet-but be sure to carry your floss!

At a store selling Turkish Delight and Hookahs, Spice market, Istanbul-you can tell how I excited I was to be there, the kind shop owners gave me generous samples of Turkish Delight, Baklava and Apple tea, I was happy to sample my way through lunch!

An assortment of fresh heady spices, Spice market, Istanbul

Shwarma and pita bread.

Doner Kebab,don't miss the poser!

Street food outside the Blue Mosque
My last Greek Salad in Greece pity it's a bad picture of a half eaten salad-yes I was being greedy! The taste of the juicy tomatoes, crunchy bell peppers, and tangy salty feta still lingers in my mind....ahh memories! Real Greek salad is not drenched in olive oil and dressing, its simplicity is what makes it taste so divine.
My friend Kelly-being the typical southern belle couldn't resist going to a Mc Donalds in Greece, she claimed to have had enough of "ethnic food", made me think of my grandma's visits to the US and her astonishment at the idea of a sandwich being a meal,no meal was complete without a helping of yogurt and rice. For Kelly, no meal was complete without some fries!

1 weekend 3 cooking videos

That's what I did this Saturday. It was nice to be done with my first round of exams so I thought I'd make a few videos after the madness had subsided!
You can watch how I made:
Masala paneer
Aloo tikkis with paneer
Hara Bhara Kebabs

Desi tailgating snacks: hara bhara kebabs and empanada samosas

Did you watch the Superbowl? or at least the commercials? I just about managed to catch the commercials looking up ever so guiltily from my tax books. I have 5 exams in the next couple of weeks and a lot of cramming and catching up to do so the next two weeks spell torture for me. You can imagine just how grueling it's going to be for me if I tell you I have open book exams-you can bet none of the answers will be found in the text! Yes, I will be stating the obvious if I say tax law defies logic but it is safe to say that the only things predictable in life are debt and taxes- so I'm hopefully doing right thing:)

I did make a couple of quick finger foods to munch on while I watched the commercials and pseudo studied-because what good is it watching the Superbowl without some good tailgating snacks? I made little hara bhara kebabs and empanada samosas. Hara Bhara kebabs are a standard appetizer fixture you'll find in most Indian restaurant menus. Hara Bhara literally translates into stuffed green kebabs. The kebabs are green because they are made with peas and spinach and so can be passed off as being a relatively healthy snack. They are one of the few non deep fried before dinner snacks that pair very well with wine and cocktails.The kebabs were my way of trying to get some greens into my diet-but the greens were also mashed with potatoes and spices and shallow fried-so when I say green and healthy you have to take it with a pinch of salt, because let's face it, who am I kidding?!

The faux samosas were pretty fabulous though-they're literally 2 biters and a perfect girly finger food that you can serve up when you're having your girlfriends over for a wine and cheesy chick flick night because 2 bites of spiced potatoes covered with fried dough is barely enough to leave you guilt ridden and worried about squeezing into your skinny jeans(If you eat too many of them though-I can't help you!). The other good thing about my faux samosas is that you don't have to worry about shaping the dough into a perfect cone and sealing it just right-which is great for creatively challenged folks like me! To make the samosas you just use a cookie cutter or some sharp round object to cut a circle out of the dough, put a little stuffing in the center and fold over the edges forming a semi circle and your samosa is rearing to go get fried-the samosas looked just like mini empanadas hence the name. If you're the kind of girl that uses your kitchen for extra shoe storage and there's no way you'll ever make a samosa from scratch then just buy some pie dough, roll it out into mini circles, stuff the spiced potatoes into it seal it and bake it-and voila you've got gorgeous samosas that you didn't have to spend all day laboring over- but let it just be your secret! Saunter into your next dinner party with perfectly blow dried hair and 5 inch heels holding a batch of these babies and let everyone think you're a total kitchen hottie!

Hara Bhara Kebabs (makes 12)

Ingredients:

2 medium potatoes boiled, peeled and grated
1 cup of fresh spinach (I used baby spinach)
1/2 cup of peas (if you're using frozen peas, thaw them in the microwave and slightly mash them with a fork)
1/2 onion-finely minced
1 inch ginger-finely minced
2 green chillies-finely chopped
handful of cilantro-finely chopped
2 tsp chaat masala
salt to taste
1-2 tsps all purpose flour
2 tsp of oil

Hara Bhara kebabs, how to:

Bring a big pan of water to boil and when it starts boiling throw in the spinach leaves and let it wilt down for about 2 minutes. Drain the spinach leaves using a colander and pat them dry with a kitchen towel and chop them fairly fine when they cool down.
Heat 1 tsp of oil in a pan and throw in the onion, ginger and green chillies. Cook it for 4-5 minutes until the onion starts turning brown.
Add the chopped spinach and peas to this and season it with a little bit of salt.
Cook this mixture down for a few minutes until it gets very dry. (there should be no water left in the spinach)
Add the spinach and peas mixture to the boiled grated potatoes. Add the flour to it too and season it with a little more salt if needed and add the chaat masala and the cilantro.
Kneed the potato pea spinach mixture into a smooth dough and divide it into 12 equal parts and form tiny kebabs out of them.

Heat a flat non skillet and place the kebabs on them. Drizzle a little oil around the sides of the kebabs and cook them for a couple of minutes on each side until they turn golden brown and crispy.

Empanada Samosas (makes 12)

Ingredients:

For the samosa shell:
Combine 1/2 cup of all purpose flour, 1/2 tsp sooji (fine semolina flour), 1/2 tsp ajwain (carrom seeds), 2 tsp oil and less than 1/4 cup of lukewarm water to form a firm dough. Cover it and set it aside till you make the filling.

For the samosa filling:

2 medium potatoes-boiled and roughly smashed
1 cup of peas (thawed-if you're using frozen peas)
1 inch ginger very finely chopped
1 skinny green chilli-very finely chopped
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp amchoor(dried mango powder masala)
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp garam masala
1 tsp of oil + more for frying

Samosa filling-how to:

Heat 1 tsp of oil in a large pan and thrown in the cumin seeds.
Once it crackles, add the ginger and the chillies and cook it for a minute.
Add the peas and cook it for a couple of minute smashing a few peas every now and then.
Add the smashed potatoes and combine it well. Season it with salt, amchur, garam masala and cayenne.
Cook it for 4-5 minutes and check for seasonings and adjust it as needed.
Take it off the heat and let it cool.

Assembling the samosas:

Pinch of little balls from the kneeded dough and roll it into a circle.
Use a cookie cutter and cut into a neat circle.
Put a teaspoon of filling into the center of the circle and fold it over to form a semi circle.

Crimp the edges with a fork.
Fry them up in batches in some hot oil until golden brown and gorgeous.

Hangover Helper-part deux: Anda (egg) Paratha

Don't you hate it when you've had waaay too much to drink and way too much of a good time on a Saturday night only to wake up to a miserable hangover ? Luckily last weekend I was not the one in a drunken stupor, it was Sanjay kicking back drinks with his guy pals and me donning the role of the responsible driver. I let him indulge and do his thing for a change and I have to say it was pretty amusing being sober and watching him attempting to a do a jig-he has two left feet and his idea of dancing usually involves bopping his head so seeing him in action tearing up the dance floor was completely click and blackmail worthy! Walking 5 blocks at 4 am in 25 degree (Fahrenheit) weather wearing 4 inch heels in the wrong direction looking for my car on the other hand- so NOT funny! had I been as intoxicated as him, I might have not been so alive to the freezing temperatures and his annoyingly happy gestures!

I had a blissful night's (or should I say morning's) sleep but Sanjay on the other hand was grumpy as heck when we woke up this morning. I didn't sympathize with him as pay back for all the times when I've nursed a hangover and he's shot back with you need to space your drinks and get enough water before you hit the sack speech. I almost smiled smugly when I watched him moan and groan as he woke up, popping an advil as a reflex action even before he brushed his teeth. Our conversation this morning went like this:

Me (super chirpy): hon I made you coffee, get up
S (groans, moans): mumbles
Me (shouting): huh? what? I can't hear you- get up it's past noon!!
S: I want to sleep I feel like crap
Me: ohh come on-this is what you get for drinking like it's going out of fashion, get up now we'll have coffe and go to flying biscuit (our hangover haven) you'll feel better once you eat something
S: huh? what? I need advil, everything hurts babe
Me (jumping on the bed and taking the comforter off him) : GET UP NOW

Anyway after this he woke up and grumpily chugged his coffee threw on a sweatshirt and willingly came with me to Flying Biscuit where we gorged on fried green tomatoes, black bean cakes with eggs over easy and tomatillo salsa and biscuits with cran apple butter. The food really helped and he felt a whole lot better so much so that I felt the need to suggest mimosas-needless to say that idea got shot down very very quickly!

The rest of the day was a complete write off for him, he vegged out at on the couch watched sports took a nap and spent the entire day recovering, I suppose that's what happens when you're over 30 and you just can't party like you used to!

Towards the end of the day I felt sorry for him and made him what I consider fabulous hangover food: anda(egg) paratha. This, in my opinion is what desi hangover food should be, it has the requisite carbs, protein and greasiness to sop up all the excess liquor in your system and leave you feeling better.It's a layered paratha that you open the fold of when it's half cooked and throw a spiced egg into. It's almost like a stuffed egg paratha- making it does involve some amount of technique and timing but once you've mastered it, you'll find that it comes together in no time at all. Anda parathas are best eaten at road side dhabas in Delhi on cold winter nights after you've been out and about socializing and drinking up a storm. The first time I ate an anda paratha with my dad was in an inconspicuous neighborhood gali (lane) I was extremely enamored by the way the guy making it slit one of the layers of the paratha open and deftly threw in the egg mixture. I expected the egg to drip all over the place and make a mess on the tawa (griddle) but it was a neat package with no tell tale signs of what was in it.

I found this video online on how to make anda paratha the other day and the combination of the good natured sardar making it and my memories of devouring it on a cold winter evening with my dad convinced me that it would indeed be the perfect hangover antidote for Sanjay. This paratha did NOT disappoint-it's a cute portable snack that would be great on the go and make for a filling breakfast. Please do watch this video for specific instruction on how to make it, I followed his recipe more or less and was thrilled with the results.

Anda Paratha (makes 2-3)

Ingredients:

For the paratha dough:

1/2 cup of whole wheat flour
enough warm water to make a dough
1/2 tsp ajwain (carrom seeds)
drizzle of oil
pinch of salt

For the egg stuffing:

3 beaten eggs
handful of chopped cilantro
2-3 skinny green chillies
1/4 of a finely minced red onion
salt
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

Chaat masala to sprinkle over the top of the parathas
1/2 cup of whole wheat flour to help roll the parathas

Anda paratha, how to:

Make the paratha dough by combining the water salt and ajwain to the flour and kneed it till you get a smooth dough. Drizzle a little oil over the dough and let it rest covered for about 15 minutes.
Combine all the ingredients listed under egg stuffing and keep it aside.
Pinch off round balls from the rested dough, dust them with flour and roll them out to a large circle/roti-approximately 6 inches in diameter.
Brush the roti with some oil and dust a fine layer of flour all over it.
Fold the dough into half of a semi circle from one side and fold over the other side too.
Drizzle a little more oil over it and dust some more flour.
Flip the the sides of the roti so that you get something that looks like a square package.
Dust it with a little more flour and roll it out.
Transfer the paratha to a hot skillet and cook it for 40 seconds.
Use a pair of tongs to help you lift a layer of the paratha.
Throw a ladle full of the egg mixture into this layer pocket and close the layer.
Drizzle a little bit of oil over the paratha and flip it over and cook it till you've got a gorgeous gloden brown hue on both sides.
Sprinkle the top of the paratha with chaat masala and devour it hot.

Say cheese-desi style!

If you had asked me 5 years ago what my life would look like at 26, I'd have probably said: I'd be living the fabulous single life in the big city with fun girl friends, working hard, partying harder and breaking hearts while doing it all in style - in a nut shell my life would be like "The Hills" but I'd have a much bigger vocabulary way more college degrees under my belt and definitely no triple D's (cough, Heidi Montag!) But look how cruel life is: I am married (of course to a wonderful man, but still married!), jobless (and to add to my woes, back in college - getting a Tax degree; I will say it is far better than my previous consulting job but it has none of the perks, read: fat paycheck), and no I am not even remotely fabulous - for the most part I am constantly harried and flustered, have godawful OCD and am anal beyond most people's comprehension - guess it's also why I have a natural affinity towards taxation! What I'm trying to say is that life doesn't always turn out the way you expect it to - I'd have never dreamed even in my wildest of dreams that I'd be the girl that actually made paneer at home - I used to be the girl that partied until last call so you can imagine just how far I've come! Anyways, I suppose all good things must come to end, i.e. dancing on table tops and such, and then you've got to go home, be responsible and make paneer and that is exactly what I did - well almost, the truth is that while I did spend my last birthday dancing on tables, my husband was the one that made the paneer. He is the official paneer maker, I gave him step by step instructions on how to make paneer once and boy can he comply or what?! I can easily guarantee that his is the best paneer I've eaten on this side of the Atlantic!
Most Indians love paneer and can't get enough of it in any form - I've come across very very few Desis who don't like this stuff and it's typically because they are lactose intolerant. The only problem with paneer is that unless you make it yourself at home, you're forced to buy this rubbery elasticy thing they sell in the grocery store in the name of paneer! It's hard, has a strange creamish color, full of preservatives and tastes nothing remotely like the soft melt in your mouth paneer made of real buffalo milk I'm used to eating back home. So unless you're willing to take the time to make your own paneer, I'd say go without it - because the store bought stuff is not palatable, unless you somehow try boiling it in warm salted water to salvage it - but still it barely tastes like the real deal, I'd much prefer eating plain tofu cardboard instead of North American Desi store paneer!
My husband does make paneer at home from time to time, but it can be time consuming and leave you with a lot of dishes to wash: the pan you boil your milk in, the colander, the bowl under the colander, the stinky cheese cloth and the heavy pan you'll use to press down your paneer - so due to extreme laziness we refrain from making paneer and I try to compensate by eating enough paneer to feed a few families every time I go to Delhi until I can't look at paneer till my next trip home!
The last time I went to Delhi I bought a very inconspicuous looking stainless steel circular container. It had small holes all over its surface and a removable bottom also filled with tiny holes. The kind sardarji uncle selling it to me guaranteed it to be an innovative paneer maker - " Absolute best paneer maker madam ji, phull guarantee ji, aap banake tho dekhiye ji" - I couldn't quite decipher it - Boil milk, separate it with some acid, strain the curds into the container and close the lid on it after placing something heavy on top - and lo and behold 15 minutes later you've got homemade paneer with none of the straining, cheese cloth or pressing under heavy cast iron pans! I was super skeptical until my husband used the little tiny "paneer maker" and omg the uncleji was right! We had phenomenal home made paneer with none of the straining, smelly cheesecloth, hanging on the tap to drip excess water drama, too bad I couldn't tell the uncle "vaah kya baat hai ji, aapki guarantee ek dum phirst class thi ji"!

The paneer maker was designed such that it sucked out all the excess water out of all the holes and resulted in perfectly creamy dreamy no muss no fuss paneer! Now I don't usually rave about gadgety things on this blog simply because I get my kicks in life buying designer bags and shoes but this I must say is a pretty cool gadget and all for less than a dollar-hello recessionista:)) Anyway, Sanjay made some masala paneer using this container and just added a handful of chopped cilantro, green chilies, ajwain (carrom seeds) and chaat masala to the paneer curds before he put the lid on the paneer maker and 15 minutes later, uber yummy melt in your mouth masala paneer - almost like the kind you'll find in a fairly decent paneer shop in Delhi - I say almost because we don't get buffalo milk here and that makes a huge difference. The paneer he made this time was super soft - sure he could have pressed it down with my heavy Le Cruset pot for a harder cheese, but I wanted something soft and spreadable this time around.
With masala paneer the options are numerous: cut it into thick wedges and slather over crackers - gives a whole new meaning to cheese and crackers, spread it over hot toast for a nice change from regular old cream cheese, stuff into mashed spiced potatoes for a filling stuffed aloo tikki snack, stuff into paranthas, crumble it up and make a bhurji out of it, cube it up and throw into a curry...are you seeing where this is going?! Anyway if you can't tell already I'm uber excited about this paneer maker and the masala paneer Sanjay churned out, so I'll just leave you with a few things we did with it.